13/2

In my whole life, you are the person I have loved most. You were my first in many things. Believe it or not, I cherished my life more when I was with you. I romanticized every little thing—I still kept your hair tie. Maybe that was the reason I held on for so long.

Now I realised love alone isn’t enough. I’ve spent so much time waiting—waiting for you to grow, to understand, to choose me the way I’ve always chosen you. I kept telling myself that if I just held on a little longer, if I just endured a little more, maybe one day you’d finally see how much Ive given, how much I’ve sacrificed, how much I’ve been hurting just to keep us together. But the truth is, I can’t keep waiting for something that may never come.

I can’t keep hoping that one day you’ll wake up and suddenly become the person I want you to be. That one day, you’ll stop doing the things that hurt me, that you’ll realise how much your actions affect me. Because if you really loved me the way I loved you, you wouldn’t keep breaking me in the same ways. You wouldn’t keep making me question my worth, making me feel like I’m not enough.

I held on for so long because I believed in us. I believed in the love we had, in the memories we made, in the promises we whispered to each other in the quiet moments. But love shouldn’t feel this exhausting. Love shouldn’t feel like a battle I’m constantly losing. And now, I finally understand that loving you shouldn’t mean losing myself.

So, this is me letting go. Not because I don’t love you anymore, but because I love myself enough to walk away. Because I deserve a love that doesn’t make me beg, that doesn’t leave me questioning, that doesn’t make me feel like I have to earn the bare minimum.

I will always cherish what we had. I will always remember the way I once looked at you like you were my whole world. But I can’t keep waiting for you to become someone you’re not ready to be. I can’t keep breaking my own heart for the sake of a love that only exists in my memories.

Thank you for everything sayang.

Sayang u sayang, sayang u sangat.